Tuesday, December 13, 2011

10 Lies Told To Me by My Alcoholic

My favorite picture of us

I asked him to send me 10 lies he told me because of his drinking, err alcoholism. He obliged since he was working on a similar assignment for his treatment. There is so much that I am trying to healing from this all, I am trying to find who I am. I am trying to rebuild what little self-esteem I had.

"I don't want to rub your back because I don't like the way your skin feels" (I'd rather stay out here and drink)

"I don't want to hold your hand" (I'm thinking about getting drunk)

"I don't think we can afford to go to the beach" (I need money for alcohol)

"I don't have a problem with alcohol" (I did. I just didn't know it at the time)

"I want to quit drinking. (Last year I did not want to quit drinking. I just told you I did to make you happy)

"I don't have the money to fix the car" (I did, but then it would have taken away money to drink with)

"I will finish painting the kitchen" (No I won't it would take away time from drinking)

"I don't like you with short hair" (You look beautiful with long or short hair. You had been complaining about my drinking and I want to get back at you)

"Isn't that kind of vain, taking all these pictures?" (It wasn't. I was envious of your self esteem because I don't have any)

"I don't want to go to you're family function. I don't like so and so." (I'd rather stay home and drink.)

These things hit me pretty hard. But, I needed to know them. I know my self-esteem and self-worth should not rely on what other say to me or think of me, but, when you love someone and give them so much of your self....it happens. So now, it's time to heal these wounds and move on.



  1. I can't fathom the pain you are going through and have been going through. Those lies pained me to read. That he, the one you chose to marry and love forever, would say those things just tore my heart in two. I do love you, Anita. For who you are, for how beautiful you are, everything about you. I wish I lived near you, more than ever. Big Hugs sweetie. I'm here for you any time.

  2. Just like I said in regards to Jimmy's blog post: very eye- opening and honest! <3