14 Years

We met in 1994. I had not clue four and half years later we would be married. We were fast friends and confidants. Really to be honest, and unlikely pair. But, when things are meant to be they just are. We both and childhood dreams of being of service to the Catholic Church, he a priest and I a nun. Obviously life changed those plans.

 

We both joined the Marines for different reasons. He had a family to support, I longed for travel and a chance to meet new people. He was originally assigned to have and MOS in Crash Fire Rescue, I was hoping and even waited to get the MOS. In the end he was a cook/baker and I was assigned to Motor T. We met because our MOS schools were on Camp Johnson. He got to travel and I got to go home from knee injuries. Despite distance and time we eventually came together to be a "real" couple. Not just a couple of people exchanging letters, cards and mixed tapes.

We have lived together in North Carolina, Texas and California. We have gained weight together and lost some together. We have owned four different vehicles together. We have seven kids between us and together we love them. We loved together, we have fought together. We have hurt together and are healing together. 14 years married and while a lot has changed, a lot remains the same. 

Love

Momma

Secrets From the Bedroom: Dirty Little Tales

I have a dirty little secret, my bedroom looks like an episode of Hoarders. Well, minus mold, bugs and animal things. I am trying to get it back in some order and maybe finish find thing the floor.  

I started earlier today with this little area/corner. It took wuite awhile. I had to feed the baby, change diapers, go to the store and other crazy things. But, I finished it. 

I like to think it's an organized mess. I was a messy pack rat of a child. When things got out of hand, my mom would swoop in when I was at work and throw away stuff. THROW AWAY PERFECTLY GOOD THINGS!! Now, I go through things and donate or give away the good stuff. I really despise throwing things away and obviously putting them away. Be warned, these pictures are not for the faint of heart. I am not doing a room makeover just yet. Just cleaning and organizing right now.

   

 Yes, honey that is a crinoline skirt and some plastic Easter eggs.

 

Thrift shopping Magic fills my closet! See that loverly silk skirt...be jealous

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 Busted! A Pepsi Throwback and no that's not a "happy rag".

   

 I will not take credit for all those chords and wires.

   

 The baby is happy, the bed is made...hey it's something. SHAMEFUL!!! You can make up your own not so cute fairytales about this room. Hey, at least I am honest and I am trying. Go ahead and laugh.

   

 Join me and share your dirty bedroom secrets, add blog links in comment! I know I am not the only momma with a SHAMEFUL bedroom.

 Love Momma

Books and Junk

Here is what I am reading now, or will be reading in the next month. If you want, read along and tell me what you think.

Scouting News

I am hoping and praying that is be Gods will that my Den Leader uniform is here and ready before Blue and Gold next week. Had a good talk with the boys parents in my den about looking neat in uniform and patches being in the right spots. They were very receptive, thank goodness.

I found Joaquin a troop that is excited to have him. He will go the week after next. Dexter will be in a Venturing Crew by summers time. That is exciting. Something he will do without any of his siblings under his heels. I am sure it will great for him. He wants to be more active and adventurous.

Good things happen at Roundtable.

In Other News

Just over a week away from Dexters 13th Birthday Celebration. Heck yeah! A 50's Zombie Dance Party. Also, next Wednesday is our 14th wedding anniversary...that's crazy.

Not much else...

Love

Momma

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

What is this crazy little thing we call love? Honestly, I don't think it's a little thing at all. It's a GREAT BIG THING! I know when I met my husband I was blindsided with it. I became irrational and inside was screaming, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! Why are you smiling and being ridiculous?" On the outside I was acting a fool. I know I was. He was a great guy and even then did things that annoyed the heck out of me. I pushed him into the friend zone. The friend zone is where he belonged,  in my mind. At the time I was 18 and too cool for relationships. I wanted to go on with my life as a single gal, traveling the world and writing about her adventures. In reality all I ended up doing was travelling the country and writing to my friends about my adventures. I worked at a gas station once and penned short stories that my coworkers fawned over.

Fast forward almost 19 years....I am still too hip for a relationship. Not really, I think it's one of the most amazing things. We have had more than our fair share if ups and downs. There have been times where I have wanted to crack him over the head, and once I threw a bottle the whizzed by his forehead. If I wanted it to hit him, it would have. Together we have brought a bit of craziness into each others lives. Baggage from our childhoods weaved itself in and out. Life seemed so much simpler when we got married, we had his daughter Stephanie and I was told I'd never have kids. It was easy peasy. Then....we had Dexter and five kids after that. We've worked hard to make pennies stretch. We worked even more hard when he was in rehab and in sober living.

Some people think love is always as wonderful as it in the beginning  It's not, well maybe it is if you don't fully let your guard down. There are times when we can't get enough of each other and times when we are perfectly happy watching TV in separate rooms. We have learned to move past the bumps in the road and make due with the path. I don't think I could have found a better mate....okay, maybe if he looked like Marc Harmon and had the voice of David Bowie <wink> and moves like Jagger. I am glad we have had all these trials, I am glad we have all these kids, I am glad we have this kind of love.

Love 

Momma

Breastfeeding: Natural and Free

I honestly can not believe I began my breatfeeding journey more than 13 years ago. My olest natural child, a son is now 13. In the beginning we struggled a bit with a month long nursing strike. There were tears, pumping of milk and formula supplemntation. I know now, we could of done without the formula. I was 23 year old and had no experience with breastfeeding. In fact the only person I knew who had breastfed was my pastors wife, back in Sothern California....I was in East texas sitting on Louisianas lap.

Fast forward almost three years....another baby, a son. I am back in Southern California and have been made to feel like being fat and big breasted is not a sight people want to see breastfeeding. However, I had joined Le Leche League and had a close friend who was also breastfeeding. We now live in our own space, and free to lay around. Most says are spent in the bedroom. Laying topless in bed with the baby while a toddler plays at the foot of the bed, and we watch lots of PBS. There are rare snuggles with this son, as he didn't much like it. There were no sweet baby cues or long gazes into my eyes as I craddled him. This is my first child with Autism. Our physical bonding was limited only to breastfeeding and wearing him as he slept on outtings. He bit me once as I nursed him and was talking on the phone. There was no blood, but I did scare the person on the other end. Hey, it's not always sunshine.

I nursed baby boy number two until the birth of baby number three, a girl child. By this time baby boy number one was in kinder. Days were spent helping care for my grandfather, spedning time with one of my younger and pregnant sisters. Nurisng was on the run in a sling and not as much topless in bed. She was a happy baby, held by many hands and adored as she was named after a recently deceased aunt. I nursed her at school, at parks and even pulled over on the side of the road. She looked at me like I was the queen of her world, I probably was.

I nursed baby girl number one until baby boy number three was a month old. He hung from me like i was the tree that supporteed his being. Everywhere I went, he was attahced. From my front and my back he came along for the ride. Baby girl number one was attacthed to dad at this time. Baby boy number three went on hikes and to the ocean adn nursed like there was nobody else around. He loved being in nature. When he his arms could reach he would trace hsi fingers in the dirt or sand as I sat cross legged and fed him.
I nursed him until baby boy number four came along. We nursed laying on the couch a lot. The livingroom was the center of existence. There were four other kids swirling around. He would reach for sheets, towels or blankets to cover up as we bonded. He would squint his eyes closed and fall asleep. This went on four just over three years.
Now with baby girl number two, I feed her and stroke her head. I carress her back. We feed at parks, libraries and in the big ol van we drive. I lay topless in bed as she curls up to me with her tiny hand on my breast. We sit upon the couch and her siblings take turns bringing me her boppy. To see my breast is nothing of consequence to them, it's natural. They've all become advocates and adorers.
The best things in life are free....

Love,
Momma

Full Lives

Life continues to be full for us. Of course, there are times when the fullness isn't what we planned. Last week Hezzie had a three day hospital stay. The swelling was really bad. It looks much better now. Maggie is still doing cookie sales and Waylon got his first beltloop for Cub Scouts. He said he didn't know what he got it for reading and writing since he can't do either. I had to laugh a little because, he leaves me notes and just yesterday was reading to us. He and Maggie both think reading is pulling open a giant novel and going to town. Okay, for people who have been reading longer, that is easily accomplished. They are both more confidant now.

Sunday was my first day since Jimmy and I were engaged that I went to Mass. Jimmy has been going a bit longer. More on that at another time.

I take Hezzie back to the neurosurgeon on Friday. I honestly am not looking forward to it. He now says that his swollen area hurts. That is new and I am not feeling the love there. I will be honest with the doctor but, I have a feeling that means more surgery. I have been saying all kinds of prayers and am just hoping this all ends soon. HE wants to go to Legoland (we have passes) and Disneyland. That won't happen until we get the okay. He could easily be back in the hospital form riding certain rides. But, it could always be worse. We still have him and he is talking more. Although, I am not excited he says "buttmunch" all the time.

That's really all I have for now.

Love,
Momma