Friday, July 27, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
You know when I was entering my latter teenage years, I had this amazing fantasy of what adult life would be. It was a rich fantasy of travel, close dependable friends, family meals and of course a life rich in artistic things. While I did travel quite a bit in my younger years, I have not done much since putting a ring on my finger. Much to my amazement I had married and introvert, that if he was single would move in to once place and spend his life there. Art was not the center of our world, and most of my friends moved on when I joined the military.
- Some people marry their polar opposites. Oh, I know it's supposed to keep life interesting. For me, it's been beyond frustrating at times. I am the kind of gal who likes to just get up and do something. He's the kind of guy who likes to know far enough ahead of time, to find a way out of it.
- You best friend at 18 will probably not be your best friend at 36. This was the hardest thing to reconcile. I actually had two bestfriends growing up. My bestest friend was my neighbor from down the street. While we didn't spend a lot of time together at school, we were still close friends. When I wasn't local, we wrote each other. He recently was married and I saw the pictures, was very happy for him. I also had a best girl friend, I really have to say this was a major let down. I know people change, but with change meanness should not ensue.
- The people who come to your aid, are ones you would have never expected. Recently I had a bit of trouble with my van, and by a bit I mean some serious trouble. The family was stranded a couple counties away. A friend I had not seen since, I was probably 18 or so came to my aid. She got our van home and all of us safely as well. Another friend spent her Saturday afternoon taking my daughter and myself an hour away to an appointment. Completely unexpected.
- Blood doesn't make you family. Both my parents are alive and well, yet I do often feel like I am the lowest thing in their life. Once I put it thought they felt I could do life without much help. I don't have close relationships with my siblings, as much as I try. I wonder if it's the age difference. My aunts and uncles were all close, they are spaced out in age so much. So no big family meals on holidays and just tons of hurt feelings. Meanwhile, I have become better acquainted with extended family, that's feeling the gap. (Thank You Facebook)
- You'll never be good enough for others, but you'll be just right for yourself. I really don't think that needs explaining.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Okay, I do have original ideas lately, but I admit some things I am reading are striking the WRONG chord. Today I read this article on the Stir. Please click that link ya'll!
Yeah we do Santa gifts, but they think Santa is St. Nicholas. I went years telling my kids Santa was never real. Somehow I had let myself be brainwashed that this would ruin kids. But, when I read them the St. Nicholas story, it worked out. My kids believe in an Easter Eagle. For some reason they had to create something with glorious wings. I had no part in that shenanigans.
My real issue is the monster thing. Why not let your kids know that there are people who will do unthinkable things? No ya'll I don't mean telling them that the Blob will attack them (okay who else thinks the Blob looks like a ginormous placenta?). Nor do I mean reading them true crime books and making them afraid of clowns or people in general. Just give them some street smarts. After all, most offenders will be in the family or family circle. Hello! Can I get an Amen?! I also think a good dose of good touch bad touch is in order. Lets be real people! Keep the conversation open.
Wish my mom had. All she ever told me was not to kiss boys or I'd have a baby. Imagine being 12 and just starting your period and hearing that. DAMN! No kissing any boys for quite a few years. It wasn't until we watched 'The Miracle of Life" in science did I understand. But, then we just all laughed at the Tron like graph of a penis having an erection. I hardly think it was up to our teacher to show us that video and then our parents not answering questions. Be real people! Be real, be honest and eff that cabbage patch business.
If you don't tell your kids honesty is the best policy, expect to be lied to quite often. Really? Why wouldn't you want honest kids? Oh because they will call you on your bull? "Sorry Suzie, I can't come over lil Johnny is sick." 'No I am not!" Yeah, you know that's happened. It's not cute and you look like a fool. Be honest with yourself so your kids can be honest with you. It's never nice after working in the yard and sweating and your lil one says "You stink." but, hey now you can take a shower before the market.
LOVE DOES PAY THE BILLS AND PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE! If someone loves you and themselves they will get to work. They will make it happen. Whether they are a CEO or selling oranges on the corner, they will make it happen. It could take a bit to make some things happen but, love is also being patient.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Through an online friend (who is pretty amazing) I ran across a blog post that has me thinking. Thinking about the standards some women hold their men up to, in the name of righteousness. In the blog post she had a picture of John Wayne. She says he is handsome and had dignity. Lady, do your research. John Wayne was married three times and had several PUBLIC affairs.
Nobody is perfect and even in the Bible it states we all fall short. That lovely and I am sure well meaning array of photos, it's dangerous. To hold the men in your life to standards they may unfitting or to put them on a throne they may fall from, could slap you in the face. You have no idea what has, is or will go through these mens minds. Of course it's more unintentional then not when they look and see some lady with a tight shirt and think "Damn I wish her bra wasn't padded." or even see some lady with her grey sweats folded down and think her butt look like it needs to be smacked. These things happen.
With older people, you don't know their whole stories, just the ones they share. Really, with anyone. I know there are many people who don't know that when Jimmy and I met her was married. Jimmy also GASP! had a child. That does not make either one of us bad people, it makes us HUMAN! Here we are all these years later with our sixth kid on the way. We have healthy sexual lives and a healthy fantasies. Granted most of our fantasies will never come to fruition (sigh oh Benjamin Bratt circa Blood In Blood Out). We are open enough to share these things and learn. We can even laugh, yes laugh about sex because it's normal. Bibilcally speaking, read Song of Solomon and get some moves.
Now on to your "a good man list"...here is mine.
A Good Man Will
- tell you when you're being judgmental.
- when you're being mental...from a distance.
- have his own thoughts and feelings.
- tell you when your armpits or breathe smell (or any other body part).
- tell you he wishes you would of made dinner since he worked in 110* weather.
- forgive you when your heart has wandered.
- tell his and your parents that they are being nuts.
- get sober for his benefit not YOURS.
- read books he likes, not the ones you do.
- use your deodorant and tooth brush in a crisis.
- look at other women and laugh when you catch them.
- admits he has faults and well as admit you do.
- love you when you're crazy, even when you know you are and deny it.
- call you on your bull shit and let you call you on his.
- be honest, be real and make his own standards.
Yeah, my husband is a real man. A real man with real flaws, real feelings, real ideas and a real crazy wife.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
The last thing I want to be is discouraged and angry. Well, it happens. I know most of my frustration comes from not having energy and only dabs of encouragement. It seems lately whenever I feel I am just blossoming into something, I have already wilted. The decaying sets in at the first sign of color.
I hate these moods. Right now I am off my foot thanks to a very unwanted bee sting. When I walk it hurts and the infection has a greater chance of spreading. Of course this adds to my laziness and needless to say the state of the house is displeasing right now. Heaven forbid anyone help without comment or loud noises. I'll just have to suck it up and pray the infection and swelling do not spread for the sake of a hopefully peaceful home.
I have been looking online for photography conventions. There seem to be quite a few, some of them longer than a weekend. There are some that offer one day specialized "sessions" or "classes", I may go that way so childcare is not an issue. Being behind the lens is rather freeing. It's a place that I don't feel like I don't belong, or that I am doing something that isn't allowed. There is really no regulations, just knowledge to grow from. It's kind of why I love it, I don't feel like a self conscience 16 year old.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
I have been a bad blogger I know, probably a bad wife and mother as well. This week my energy level dipped to an all time low. There were a few days marked with contractions and some discomfort...go being pregnant at 36! One day this week I had to venture to Walmart and I ran into two people from Jimmy's rehab. I knew what was coming, he has been working a lot and not attending meetings. Therefore people assume he is out there getting drunk, NOPE!
I am standing there, all hot and sweaty holding some Poise Pads. They come up and just stand there. Part of me wanted to throw the bag of pads and pretend I didn't see them, part of me wanted to ask for a recommendation. "Poise or Depends?" They small talk me and asked how Jimmy was doing. I said he was over by the pool supply and he was doing good. They smiled and I threw the bag of pads into my basket along side some shampoo and Toms toothpaste. They looked confused. Come on people! I have five kids, a undependable bladder was bound to happen. Oh, wait! These were two childless adults. Send me your poise pad coupons! I'd love them.
I have been practicing my photo skills a lot. Like every day, a lot! There have been several great photos that have been bombed by nose picking. Oh, wait! My tag line is "Capturing real life." So in real life my three year old is a nose picker and he is not ashamed. Yes folks he is all boy. Speaking of photo taking, I am looking into getting more educated on it. I am not charging since I am in no way a professional. Some people have offered and I will just say 'Hey if you want to give me gas money or buy me an AmPm Lemonade with crunchy ice, I will not say no." Other than that, I will not pretend to be well learned on taking photos. Although, some of them I am very in love with.
This is life and I can not say I'd want to change it, okay maybe not dealing with buying poise pads. Love your life people.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Saturday the whole family took flight to the California Science Center. They were in awe, we had never been before. Lots of hands on, lots of space exhibits, just what is up our alley for July. They have decided to do themes, specifically that go along with our Magic School Bus science kit we get every month.
They got to go in a space simulator, which I could here joyful noises coming from. If only I could have gone it. In there they soared through space and saw things, I could only wish for. The played in discovery rooms and saw models of viruses. They got to see some amazing sea creatures and high five a diver through the aquarium.
On our way home, the van was running hot. For awhile we were travelling exit by exit to try and get home. The van would cool, then get hot. We finally gave up for the day in Walnut and checked into a hotel. We stayed overnight, got a new radiator cap, and towed home by a friend. Amazing blessings! The kids saw so much positive being in a hotel, we were all together...in cool air. They got to swim and go into a hot tub. My fingers are crossed that the radiator just needs to be burped, and nothing else is wrong. She goes to the shop today.