Momma not Mutha

 

Sometimes I look at this spectacle of a life I have and have to laugh. If I don't I would be one depressed mutha. You read that. I have a lot of private messages, texts and emails from people. Most I have never met who tell me, they feel like they know me because I am so open with my life. I really have nothing to hide, except the state of my bedroom. I need a dresser. Well, besides that I really don't feel the need to hide anything. For years I hid Jimmys alcoholism and what did that get me? Let's see. Oh, I got accused of making it up, I was alos blamed for it. You know being married to a lazy housewife with lots kids will do that to a man. Anyhow, nothing to hide. Nothing is embarrassing to me except when my friend Angie goes on Facebook and brings up a crush I had in high school. But, that's fun embarrassing.

 

We do seems to have rounds  of chaos here. Or what could seem like chaos to others and usually is to Jimmy. Right now Hezzie is back at Loma Linda Childrens Hospital. He is waiting to get his surgery site tapped again. There is a possibility of another surgery. I really hope not, I am praying this won't happen. In the meantime, Maggie has TONS of Girl Scout Cookies to sell, Waylon gets his first Cub Scout awards on Thursday. Joaquin has an MRI coming up and Dexter has youth camp coming up. I hope I can make the latter part happen.

Now, I will say thank you for all the love and prayers...keep them coming.

Love
Momma

Birds Attack

And cookie time is here Maggie put up her "lemonade stand" to sell right at lunch time. She waved her sign and smiles. She sold six boxes and then closed up shop. The cold wind was making her face red and she was ready for a snack. What I like is that she has the initiative and motivation to be out there. She smiles and is just coming out of her shell with this.

My kids are all into Angry Birds. We have several small soft and hard toys for the kids. My mom even bought Hezzie a HUGE stuffed red Angry Bird for Christmas and Santa brought them Angry Birds tooth brushes with bags. Well, today one of the small hard Angry Birds flew into Hezzies head. It hit him smack in his swollen area, yep the still swollen spot from his surgery. So now we have to watch and make sure nothing funky happens. If he starts barfing, seizing, walking funny or complaining of pain....we get to go to the ER. We can also take him if we think it's just getting too swollen. We all know the brain does not like pressure. We also know Hezzie does not like the ER or being in the hospital. Keep him and Jimmy in prayers. Why Jimmy? He can't deal with stress when is comes to Hezzies brain. I have learned to....and then I see the differences in the pictures. The one above was from this morning, below was not too long after the Angry Bird went on attack.

 

Love

Momma

A Full Week

This week as been full. Except one day when the blues tried to take over, it was pretty awesome. Monday the littles and I hit a United Way community program. They made cards for kids at Loma Linda Childrens Hospital. That was pretty special to us. That is where Hezzie had his surgery. The kids really wanted to play at the museum, we caught a little time between the pancake breakfast and the actual card making to do so.

Waylon made it back to Cub Scouts this week. He slid right back in, no problem. I resumed my role as Pack Photographer/Social Media Person. He will be getting some type of awards next week. He is very excited and I will be there with my Nikon to take pictures of all the boys. It's going to be special since he has missed previous awards ceremonies thanks to an eventful pregnancy. His pack had a pancake breakfast today. I took pictures and Jimmy manned the kitchen for awhile. It's weirs seeing him become involved. He is a trained cook so, maybe I should not be that surprised.

Once we came home, we had a bit of a break and then off to pick up Girl Scout Cookies for Maggie. She is a Brownie and has a new troop. The girl love Girl Scouts so much, she will go where there are open arms. I am very proud of her for that. Actually, honored that she is my daughter. Life has thrown her a few loops and she carries on. Like all humans, she has her moments.

Today is the second day of rain. I love the smell and feeling of rain. Meanwhile, my joints say, "Listen lady! Don't go crazy and walk all over. You WILL pay." Rain is bittersweet for me. I love to walk in it, reminds me of my younger days in North Carolina. Back when I was 18 and had the whole world in my hand. Exploring parts of unknown area while on liberty. Meeting new and interesting people. This is when I met my now husband and broke out of my shell. This is why I love the rain, it's a reminder of who I was, who I am and who I will become.

I hope you found some joy this week and remember who you are, underneath it all.

Love,
Momma

Are You Really THAT Busy?

 

I keep seeing these pictures come up on Facebook with the saying "Stop the glorification of busy." It makes sense. A lot of people, especially parents always say "I'm busy." They say it to friends and family....and they say it an awful lot to their kids. My question is "Are you really THAT busy?' Think about it.

The dishes will wait for you to read to your son, the mopping will wait for you to rub your husbands back. You are not  as busy as you are in your mind. Think about it and learn to say no to things that don't bring joy to you. Say no to the husband hating book club, rather stay home and cuddle with yours. You don't need to play basketball Tuesday night if you've had a long day. It's okay to miss one soccer game so you can take your kids to a birthday party.

Life goes on without you. Life is to be enjoyed one small moment at a time. How can you enjoy it if you are tired? If you always feel obligated? If you are THAT busy? My biggest "busy" it tv. I really don't need to watch so much of it. It's not as joyful as making messes with my kids or helping them clean rooms. TV isn't really that joyful, unless it's Austin City Limits. HAHA! I am only half joking.

Take some time and think about it. I had to!!!! I had to stop being so busy, that I still thought Joaquin was still the kid in the picture above. He is going to be 11 and has grown into an amazing little boy. My life is so much better remembering not to bust THAT busy.

Love
Momma

Dad Bear

Recently our large family has endured a bit of the flu. I say a bit because, I know families who are small in size and suffer for up to a month. It being a short season in our home doesn't make it any less painful. There was a lot of aching, sleeping, changing of bedding and toilet paper purchased. Obscene amounts of Gatorade was consumed as well as salty crackers. Lots of sleep, snoring and drooling and that was just for Jimmy. Kidding, sort of. The worse part for me was having Hezzie as for his Dad Bear. In his weak little voice he asked for him after vomiting for I think was the third time. He was wrapped up on the living room couch in what is probably a queen size comforter. His little chubby cheeked face was more pale than usual. "Gimme Da Bear."


He wrapped his arm around the soft cocoa colored necked and closed his eyes. I think Dad Bear will be his go to guy for times of discomfort. This makes total sense. Dad Bear was given to him by his Grammy. Grammy bought him so Hezzie could have some object of comfort while he was in the hospital.( This reminded me of when I was a kid, my Nana and Papa would buy any kid who was hospitalized an expensive lovely.) He did snuggle and love that bear that first stay.  Every hospital visit and doctor appointment since Dad Bear has gone along. He has been a source of comfort for Hezzie.


As much as I love Dad Bear, it aches my heart when I hear Hezzie as for him. At the same time, I am glad he has that comfort. The way he is, he doesn't much like being comforted by humans.
Love, Momma

Just pictures

.....
Love
Momma

Baby Love

I'm so in love with my little one. The four years between births was well worth it. Although two years in I thought I'd never be snuggling a little one to my breast ever again.

It brings back all the memories of the older kids. When they were fresh little babies breathing softly against my chest. Their little heads against my chest as I look down at the tops of six very different heads. They all developed at different paces, and were mesmerized by different things. It's amazing that I could forget those things. That I could forget first steps, words and laughs. I guess the daily nonsense and eye rolling clouded my brain. It's a good thing I can remember, and go back to that baby love.

Love
Momma

5 Weeks

It's been a pretty good five weeks. Whole I don't feel sleep deprived, I do feel tired. Nothing unmanageable. Tanni is growing pretty good and makes us all smile. I had to put saline spray in her stuff nose this morning. She didn't like it at first but, now she's happy.

You know, when your kids are infants you have all kinds of plans for them. Greatness and happiness. Over the years I've learned that both greatness and happiness comes in different forms. It's displayed differently and it's appreciated on levels I would never have dreamed of.

I do wonder though, what will each kid offer the world around them. What will their happiness be, what will their greatness be? Only time will tell...


Love
Momma

Fussy Pants

Tanni has been a total fussy pants today. I don't think she was in a good mood or she just wanted to snuggle. Probably just wanted to snuggle. Who wouldn't want to snuggle with me in bed all day? Okay, maybe just her.

I had a couple cups of hot tea this morning. Did a morning meditation and thought how I could be a better person today. I prayed for myself and those around me. By nature I am kind of aggressive and pessimistic. Well, kind if is sugar coating it. I see those traits in some if my kids and I want to model different behaviors. I don't want my kids to want to abandon me when they come of age. In my heart I'd like to think I'd get phone calls and letters. Not just on holidays. Visits and pictures if grandkids. I can only hope.
Until the future shows itself, I've got to work on myself and my kids.

Love
Momma

2013

Wow! Is it really 2013?! Apparently so. I can ask all the cliche questions like "Where did the time go?" But, we know where it went. It went behind us and we are getting older. It's not a bad thing unless, well unless you're stuck living in the past. You know, pretending you're still 22 when you're actually 36. Or still upset at things that have happened to you, when you had no control over it. Move on, forgive and learn to love.
I always make these ridiculous resolutions. My follow through is never good. So no resolutions, just making promises as I see fit. I hate to break a promise, I refuse to. My first promise it to tell all my kids everyday that I love them, and show them. How can I possible break that promise? I can't or I'd hate myself, and I'm not into self hate.
This year I turn 37, the kids turn 21, 13, 12, 9, 7, 5 and one. Wait! Stephanie will be 21?! She was five when she came into my life. Insane! Jimmy will be 38 and we will celebrate 14 years of marriage. Do I feel old? Only when my arthritis thinks it owns me. It doesn't.
Looking forward to a great year! Hope you have a great year!

Love
Momma