Coming Around

My middle four kids, they started an enrichment program through a charter school last month. For three of them it's been a good experience, for Hezekiah it's been a bit of a roller coaster. I have to sit in class with him due to his behavior. It's rough seeing your child struggle. Academically he's doing well, socially and behaviorally he's been challenging.i won't go into specifics, but he's being asked not to attend one day of the program.

Between the struggles I class, constant IEP and special education phone calls....I started to lose myself. I wasn't even brushing my hair often enough. It wasn't depression, but a constant sense of anxiety. Every time I've taken him to class  I've battled anxiety to the point I feel like  my body is revolting against me. 

Friday it came to a head, when I was told he was going to be asked not to attend Monday's. I had to walk out of the class and I broke down sitting inside of my van. I'm thankful I had my anxiety medication on me, and when I was calm I called my husband.

I am feeling much better. I've remembered to use my tool bag and practice self care. 

To all you mommas and poppas, take care of yourself. You're important, too.

Love, 

Momma 

Update

I have been sick in one way or another for nearly a month. I was stung by a bee on August 5th and had an deadly reaction to it, or whatever it had been eating. I then had a reaction to the steroids in the hospital and the ones they sent me home with. I ended up having to wean off of them and take blood pressure meds while I did so. Then I ended up with double ear infections from the steroids and had a bad reaction to the ear drops and now am dealing with anxiety. My PCP have me Zoloft and I had to stop that. I had a serious reaction to that and he wanted me to " let it get into" my system and gave me another med to help me through. I stopped the Zoloft and had a terrible time to following few days and had to take the other medication once. No reaction.
I am currently trying to get through this anxiety thing as naturally and as safe as possible.  I have had friends who have been great and very helpful. Also, my mom and husband. They are my rocks and my mom basically babysat me most of this time. She cared for my kids and prayed with me. My poor husband can't get any time off of work to come and stay with me. He knows how scary this can all be. My routine of teas and supplements have been great.
As I am able to, I get the kids out and we do things. Home Depot, Lowes and all that sort of thing. They have been great and understanding. Poor Maggie knows what it is to have anxiety, and she has not had an attack in probably a year. I am so grateful. Jimmy has a three day weekend and is here making sure I am okay and that things are getting done. I am working on laundry and my desk. He took Dexter to Mass yesterday and us smoking a brisket today. I know he had wanted to work today, but it is nice to have this Union guy home on a Union holiday.
Hezekiah and Joaquin went to see Dr. Aaen and it went well. Hezekiah was taken off his seizure meds and Joaquin is on the same dose. He ordered different therapies for them, so thankful for that. I am having a terrible time with heat, so Jimmy switched his days off so he could drive us.
Hezekiah got fitted with glasses after his eye appointment. He picked out some cool frames and he should have them soon.
Maggie has improved her reading so much, she reads description on the Roku for Mythbusters like a champ. That is the kids new favorite show, and soon they want to start watching How it's made. I just love how much they have been learning lately, and how much they still want to learn. Life is good.

Love,
Momma

Dirty Socks and Pills

Joaquin had to see his GI doctor on Monday. Normally he would be okay with seeing a doctor since he loves them. He loves the attention showered on him by the two he sees the most. If it's a sub he is tight lipped. Well, Monday he could not even look into Dr. Boltron's eyes. He was shy because Dr. Boltron has seen inside his body. That really creeped him out. I get that, I don't like looking the OB/GYN in the eyes.

The best part for me....dirty socks. I sent Joaquin in the room to get socks and he picks up dirty ones. I really just had to laugh. He swears they were clean when we left. Yet, he had shoes on...kids.

The poor kid was told no dairy and to try to go no gluten. His bad bacteria in his small intestines are out of control. Another round of antibiotics after which he needs probiotics and kefir. YAY!

Yesterday, I took Maggie to the psychiatrist. For now no real diagnosis has been made. She is on meds to help with anxiety and depression. The doctor got to see her moods in mild action but, enough to get an idea of what is going on.

This is what she looked like 30 minutes after her meds. From what I gather it could be like this for a couple of weeks. It took so much for me to get to the point of seeking help. She has a therapist and a pediatrician who are helping as well. It's bad enough she suffers from hypoglycemia and now this. I just know, it's unfair for her to suffer mentally.

Love and Life
Momma and her Tribe