Life

Sometimes I feel like I'm sort of participating in life. This pregnancy has taken a toll on me more than physically. Mentally and emotionally in spent. I'll be feeling really amazing, then I'll be down for awhile. I'm glad I'm in the downhill slope of it.

Hezekiah will be having his own life change soon. Neurosurgery, the outcome is not certain. Is it really for any kind of surgery? No, not really. I've been praying a lot for him. Praying that it doesn't linger in his memory like his foot surgery has.

Love,
Momma

Weekends

This weekend was busy, yet not rushed. I got out a bit with Jimmy. I got wheeled around in the wheelchair. Most of my walking is limited to the house. We did some thrifting and hit Big Lots.
My dad came over yesterday and helped with some things. Then he had lunch with us. It's always nice to see him. His birthday is coming up and I kind of would like to do a dinner for him.
My friend Angie and her mom came over for some baby shower planning.. Talked about games and such, and her moms tasty bean dip.
Today was a bit more thrifting and a Craigslist curb alert. I don't do much on these things except look and get wheeled around. Most of today was chillen at home while Jimmy was doing field day on the house. I was on my left side a lot in bed. I was on my feet a lot yesterday. I never knew how such little strict bed rest changed you physically.
I'm enjoying the new house oh so much. Life is good and I am blessed so much more than I've ever imagined.

Ugh! It Has To Get Better

My mom brought over Hezzies birthday gifts today. He wasn't thrilled with the Batman pajamas, yet he is wearing them all day. He got these cool cars called Flip Force. They are pretty awesome.
Jimmy has been grouchy and overwhelmed with everything. Although, I have tried to make it easy. I am trying to make it to where he only had to sweep and mop when he gets home, and maybe make dinner. It's not enough though. Well, that's how I feel. When he cycles it's right on me. I wish he'd have time for meetings or something. I am worried the stress will make him just not come home one day. If that happens, I'll deal. I won't be happy, but I will deal.
I do not expect people to feel sorry for me, or hate my husband. I'm
just frustrated. I am not supposed to do anything. I still do some things though. I hate not being able to have sex. This is when I think a Devi d wife would come in handy for Jimmy or a surrogate.
I am over these women on boards saying that if they can't get satisfied why should their man be able to? How about to stabilize their mood, maybe it's just me. A mothers helper would be great. Or a giant nanny dog that makes sure they don't make messes.
The kids ES for school is on my last nerve. She doesn't call, I'm constantly calling her to get answers. Frustrating and I may just withdrawal them, and let Dexter enroll next year.
On a good not, I'm not behind on laundry. The kids bring it to me, I sort it out and hang thing on hangers. They put it away. The house is cleans d my animals seem happy. Tomorrow I have a friend coming over to visit. My first real visitor. Just to visit. Yes, I'm starved for adult interaction.


I'll learn to be happy in my circumstance.

Love,
Momma

Comedic Life or Something Like That

I have been a bad blogger I know, probably a bad wife and mother as well. This week my energy level dipped to an all time low. There were a few days marked with contractions and some discomfort...go being pregnant at 36! One day this week I had to venture to Walmart and I ran into two people from Jimmy's rehab. I knew what was coming, he has been working a lot and not attending meetings. Therefore people assume he is out there getting drunk, NOPE!

I am standing there, all hot and sweaty holding some Poise Pads. They come up and just stand there. Part of me wanted to throw the bag of pads and pretend I didn't see them, part of me wanted to ask for a recommendation. "Poise or Depends?" They small talk me and asked how Jimmy was doing. I said he was over by the pool supply and he was doing good. They smiled and I threw the bag of pads into my basket along side some shampoo and Toms toothpaste. They looked confused. Come on people! I have five kids, a undependable bladder was bound to happen. Oh, wait! These were two childless adults. Send me your poise pad coupons! I'd love them.

I have been practicing my photo skills a lot. Like every day, a lot! There have been several great photos that have been bombed by nose picking. Oh, wait! My tag line is "Capturing real life." So in real life my three year old is a nose picker and he is not ashamed. Yes folks he is all boy. Speaking of photo taking, I am looking into getting more educated on it. I am not charging since I am in no way a professional. Some people have offered and I will just say 'Hey if you want to give me gas money or buy me an AmPm Lemonade with crunchy ice, I will not say no." Other than that, I will not pretend to be well learned on taking photos. Although, some of them I am very in love with.

This is life and I can not say I'd want to change it, okay maybe not dealing with buying poise pads. Love your life people.

Love,

Momma!

It's Not All Morning Sickness

Granted I have been pretty sick, even right before these pictures this morning. If you have ever suffered such a thing, you like me may wonder why we don't come out of pregnancy with tight abs. I feel like I look full term, of course I had extra weight to start. The extra weight was no big deal until now. I will be grateful when the so called "morning sickness" passes. For me it has been more like, "sick all day long".

My kids are such characters. Just looks at those faces, don't you want to hug the heck out of them? I know I do most days. Some days....well, some days I need a time out. Watching them become their own person is mostly a joy. Then there are moments when I think "Where did that child spawn from?" Then I realize, with great dismay/excitement they are my children. The oldest keeps talking about 4Chan. He can go on four h..o..u..r..s.... He says "I'm not an internet troll, I am a LOLZ Cat. I am eats your cake." My child!

I have been able to use a few things from the lil homestead for cooking. So far it has been rosemary and eggs. Look at those yokes. Dinner was scrummy tonight. I am looking forward to some amazing tomatoes and such to come in. We still have beds to build and hopefully this will be the year our garden goes year round. After a few years of research I am pretty sure I know what to plant in our zone.

Here are some pictures from some after dinner shenanigans. Kids love playing in the mud. It was fun to watch. What kid does not like some messy play? I fed the hens their dinner and watered the garden. I have started drying out flowers from the yard for what I hope become Christmas gifts. I would love them all to be homemade this year. We shall see since the baby is due a couple weeks beforehand.

Right now I am happy living life as best as I can.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

~Albert Einstein

Love,

Momma

Been Busy

Been busy living life with my kids. Last weekend we went to the Art Hop in Banning. We had a good time and look forward to next year. It was great, the big boys went off on their own for a bit while me and the little did little kid things. It was pretty great. After that we went to Free Comic Book Day at our local store. THAT WAS REALLY GREAT! The owners and staff are super nice.

Monday we visited our local Lego shop called Bricks and Figs! Those owners are super nice. They are really chatty and helpful. The kids played and we got some keychains, plus Toy Story minifigs! That place is awesome. I look forward to their summer programs.

Yesterday Hezzie saw his neurologist, Dr. Aaen. He is pretty amazing and on it. He was glad to hear that the seizures have stopped since the meds. He confirmed his Autism and ordered some therapies. I know some unschoolers don't believe in diagnosis or therapies but, I know my child is frustrated and speech has been helpful. Anyhow, that's my thing.

Life has been busy, great, crazy and most of all it's been lived. Now if the meanies will leave me and the nausea, life would be AMAZING! Got to love pregnancy.

Love,
Momma

Enjoying Life

We have been so so busy. The weekend was actually really good. We took the kids to First Peoples Day. It is an annual event put on by The Human Relations Council. We have gone every year they have had it. We got to see wool being spun into yard, iron being forged, clay pots being made and Native dancers. Also, we ate some delicious hot dogs.
Saturday night I went to a Night of Art. I had an amazing time. I wanted to take Maggie but, her internal schedule did not call for it. Hopefully, like Joaquin we can make it more flexible.

Sunday was a birthday party with pizza for my friends child. I always laugh that these pizza places have party rooms, with beer banners. Even when my husband was an alcoholic is confused me. But, such is life.

You know, life has been treating me good. Suprised by pregnancy, I thought the pilot was out in the oven, doing a lot of art and loving my kids with a passion. Loving and adjusting to my husbands medication. Why do I say his medication? He is not himself on it. Something he plans on talking with his psychiatrist about. I am thankful for that.

How can I complain when there is this in my backyard everyday?

Love,
Momma