Monday, December 31, 2012

Salutations 2012

A few snippets of the year

Hope. 2013 is full of blessings and wonderment....


Sunday, December 30, 2012


Today Hezzie and I played a couple games my friend Lisa gave us. His favorite by far is Don't Spill the Beans. Hello awesome. I think it's cute he doesn't realize spilling the beans is losing.

I also donated some breastmilk today. I'm glad I know I can help.

Mostly I just milled around the house, hung out with Tanni and Hezzie. I uses a foam cleaner for the carpet and vacuumed a lot. Tanni is soothed by the noise of it. She's a bit colicky and I'm hoping isn't developing reflux. I'm not drinking regular milk any more. This sucks when you crave it. It's helping her though. She's a cluster feeder. So I do have hours to do other household chores and hours where it's couch city or bed cuddling. It works out nicely.

I went to Subway for two dollar subs, I failed to count the subs. I came home minus one of the kids subs. Immediate guilt.

I'm looking forward to another new year. While this year wasn't easy, it sure was much different than any other year. It was a sober year, a year of doctors visits and hospital stays. It was a year if learning, loving and accepting and forgiving. It was a year where friends stepped back and left me feeling lonely. A year of family and a year of changing addresses. It was a year of new pets and new furniture. It was a year if immense blessings. It was a year that I've lived up until today.

Hope you've had a year of memories.


Saturday, December 29, 2012


They seem to be a bit more mellow. Last night I took the kids to the park. The first time for Tanni. It was a fun short trip...the sun was setting.

Today we had to grocery shopping, thrifting for a couple things I needed. Went to my friends yard sale and she gave me stuff. We are really blessed. People give us nice things, I don't take it as charity...just blessings. I sit here on my blessed couch holding my baby wearing blessed clothes. I bless people with things when I can, and I love doing it.

Sunday is upon on and I'll be blessed if I wake up.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Catch Up

Let's hope I can blog daily for the last few days of the year. It's been hectic and I was trying to be mellow. Keep calm and all that.
Hezzie had more fluid taken from his swollen area and stitches out! He did well and had no dizziness this time! Woot! Two nurses gave him toys. He came home with a Mr. Potato Head and some mini superheroes. Very cool. That hospital will make you cry from the love.
Christmas was great! The kids were blessed by my mom, sister and Jimmy's parents and grandparents. We got then a few things. My friend Tanni in Texas got Maggie an American Girl doll and we got one second hand from another friend. Noe she can play with a friend when she has one over. She's making them things, the dolls.
Tanni, the baby, seems a bit colicky. Been trying to work with that. Meaning not lose my sanity. She nurses a lot, so that's good. I just love every bit if her. She's pretty awesome. The kids don't like when she cries, that's sweet.
That's all for now.

Friday, December 14, 2012

How the Grouch Ate Happy

I love my son. I love him and he's only four. I love him and he is irritated by things that irritate me. I love him and he is tired of getting his head poked and stabbed. I love him and he's tired of one eye not working right. However, he needs to be kind to others when he's irritated.

This morning Jimmy is taking him back to Loma Linda for another doctor visit. I hope they don't feel the need to extract more fluid next week. There is only so much a kid can handle before they become combative.

Hezekiah is so grouchy, he can turn a happy moment into something out of a family comedy. No not that funny part, the part where you hope your kids don't behave that way. You know, where they are kicking and screaming "No!" Yep, the part where all the good parenting skills fall out of your ear. Your head spins and your voice isn't so gentle any more. Far too many of those moments recently.

Jimmy recently said he is having regrets about the surgery. This one complication is reoccurring and taking its toll. I am just praying that it's all over soon. On top of his Autistic moods, and keppra outbursts this is putting him on a whole new level of moody. I've got to put myself in his shoes and gently hold my ground. Sigh.

Here's to the weekend and hot tea!


Sunday, December 9, 2012

New Week

So glad nobody is in the hospital today. Tanni Rainbow came home Tuesday from Loma Linda Childrens and Hezzie came home Friday from the same place. They were both admitted on Monday. Tanni Rainbow had really high billirubins and Hezzie was leaking CSF again.

Hezzie had quite a bit of CSF drained from a big swollen spot at his surgery site.
First time was on Monday, they also gave him a whole new set if stitches then. Then again Wednesday and Friday. Not exactly a fun time for a four year old. We have to keep his head wrapped tight with pressure.

Since Hezzie has been home there is no leakage. We noticed it wants to swelling when he's more physically active. We are trying to keep him a bit more sedentary. Now would be a great time for board games and toys. We don't have much of either here. At the hospital he fell in love with Duplo blocks and these Fisher Price Trio blocks. He said the Trio blocks looked like Minecraft in real life. This kid is funny.

We had Hezzie prayed for at church today. It's been a long time since we've done anything like that. I didn't like the overwhelming response if sympathy eyes. That's not why I did it, it's also not way I write about it or share it all on Facebook and other places. I do it, hoping it may help someone and it's therapy. So many wonderful people are praying for him. That right there is wonderful. Prayer is powerful!

He sees the neurosurgeon for a wound check tomorrow. I'm praying all goes all and if you'd like, you can pray as well.


Sunday, December 2, 2012

Rub My Eyes

It feels like the things that have transpired recently are from someone elses life. Chaotic and beautiful all at the same time. Hezekiah was readmitted back into Loma Linda Childrens Hospital on Wednesday evening. His incision was leaking cerebral fluid.
The next morning I had my OB appointive and was in the early stages of labor. I was advised to go to the hospital as soon as I could. I was at a five and 85% effaced. I went and made some arrangements first. My mom met me at the childrens hospital so that Jimmy could come to the birth. When I arrived at Hezzies room he had just had some fluid removed via some syringes that nearly made me faint. Before my mom arrived we took Hezzie to see Santa in the lobby and do some fun things.
We arrived around 12:30-1 at Pass Hospital and my labor was going better. At 5:51 my water was broken. At 6:45 little baby Tanni was born. I don't think I even pushed. I was sitting up and the nurse was rubbing my lower back. I was in AA panic and swore I was cussing the nurses out. Jimmy says that wasn't true. I told the nurse the baby was coming laid back and breathed through about three big contractions....she was out and the nurse caught her one handed before my OB could get there. He was just down the hall, it was that fast.
Hezzie came home Friday, the baby and I came home Saturday. I have to say I'm not doing well with the amount of stitches I have. I'm not enjoying that discomfort. Just hoping it doesn't linger.
I found out Jimmys dear friend passed the day Tanni was born. It's like his padding made room for Tanni on earth and now he's with his own children. RIP Chris.
We have a post op for Hezzie tomorrow. I hope it's better news. I just want to rub my eyes and wake up...and have it be rainbows and unicorns everyday. Well, maybe not, because I probably would take wonderful things for granted.