Jimmy's rehab facility holds these "family" weekend sessions about twice a month. This month it was sprung upon me and I was a bit agitated as he swore he had told me last week. I missed Friday because, the kids were sick. Saturday, we had a reliable caregiver so we went. It was an all day affair.
Needless to say I went in pretty mad. Mainly because the guy running the sessions was supposed to inform me that this was coming up and never did. I got a bit more frustrated when in front of all these people he said I could have brought my kids when he specifically said that "maybe" the oldest would benefeit...it gets worse. On the phone he said he did not deal with children but, could talk with Jimmy and facilitate something with the kids. Now, I know I was angry when we had that phone call. But, not one call back to see how our family was doing during his treatment. When I brought up there was nothing for the kids he said "Remember our first phone call?...I said you could bring down the kids anytime." I held my tongue because, I was there to learn and get over my anger at Jimmy....and this guy was pissing me off. But, because I was around Jimmy's peers and their families...I bit my tongue so hard I nearly swallowed it, Jimmy swears he'll call him out in private.
What I learned? Oh I learned that communication is key and I already knew that. I learned that things should be laid out and not expected to be known...I already knew that. The communication stuff I knew, and Jimmy needed someone other than myself to tell him that. The guy was anxious because, he did not know what to expect from me. Really, I had no idea what to expect from him.
We had a communication exercise that I loved because, he could not interrupt me or dismiss my feelings. I was honest and laughed abit because, I laugh when I am nervous. I held my tears because, I know he does not like to cry and before I could let certain things off my chest, the counselor cut me short and asked me to end on a positive note...which he did to no other family. I already had intention on ending in on one. If I take the counselor guy out of the equation, it was a great day.
Love
Momma
Needless to say I went in pretty mad. Mainly because the guy running the sessions was supposed to inform me that this was coming up and never did. I got a bit more frustrated when in front of all these people he said I could have brought my kids when he specifically said that "maybe" the oldest would benefeit...it gets worse. On the phone he said he did not deal with children but, could talk with Jimmy and facilitate something with the kids. Now, I know I was angry when we had that phone call. But, not one call back to see how our family was doing during his treatment. When I brought up there was nothing for the kids he said "Remember our first phone call?...I said you could bring down the kids anytime." I held my tongue because, I was there to learn and get over my anger at Jimmy....and this guy was pissing me off. But, because I was around Jimmy's peers and their families...I bit my tongue so hard I nearly swallowed it, Jimmy swears he'll call him out in private.
What I learned? Oh I learned that communication is key and I already knew that. I learned that things should be laid out and not expected to be known...I already knew that. The communication stuff I knew, and Jimmy needed someone other than myself to tell him that. The guy was anxious because, he did not know what to expect from me. Really, I had no idea what to expect from him.
We had a communication exercise that I loved because, he could not interrupt me or dismiss my feelings. I was honest and laughed abit because, I laugh when I am nervous. I held my tears because, I know he does not like to cry and before I could let certain things off my chest, the counselor cut me short and asked me to end on a positive note...which he did to no other family. I already had intention on ending in on one. If I take the counselor guy out of the equation, it was a great day.
Love
Momma
How did I not know that we were going through the same thing at the same time? I am so sorry hon. It sounds like Jimmy is in for a lot longer the my DH went in for.
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Hey my friend, I'm sorry it was such a rough weekend. I wish I could have held your hand through it all. I do have a suggestion though, would you be interested in going to ALANON classes with me? I'm going to start going to deal with my brother's addiction. Call me.
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