5 Things Not To Say to New Spectrum Parents

1. He/She looks normal.

     Not all challenges can be seen on the outside. This is something that is a big misconception. 

2. But, he/she talks.

   Like most challenges, there is a whole spectrum of the childs abilities. While some may never communicate, some may talk later or need a communication device, while some may ramble on about one subject or two. 

3. I think you're making this up.

   Yes, believe it or not people do say this. They either believe you're overreacting or jumping on the latest "disability fad." Most parents don't want their kids to face extra challenges in life. (I say most, because there is a controversial mental disorder where some people make their child sick.)

4. Stop using your kid as an excuse not to see me.

  You have to realize that along with this diagnosis with Autism or Aspergers the child may have sensory issues. Actually, there is a good chance that the child does. So until meltdowns can be managed, it's easier for the parent to take baby steps. Not only that, some kids have  a lot of therapy appointments. You probably have no idea how much your friend would enjoy adult time.

5. He/She will outgrow it.

  If it were as easy as waiting out bed wetting. While certain traits may subside, other traits may linger. The child may learn to make eye contact but may never learn to manage anxiety. Some may potty train later while other may never. Nothing is black and white, a lot is grey.