Maggie Rae You're 12

My goodness! When did you get so old? Okay, I know you're still young. But, 12 seems too old for this momma. You've come a long way this past year, even with some serious setbacks. You're conquering fears, fighting your depression and anxiety. You're learning more about yourself, even finding out that you fit the ticket for aspergers/autism. You're challenging yourself everyday, and on the days you can't you're still overcoming so much.

We butt heads more this past year than even before. That's just how life has been, but we always come back and mend. Like me, you've learned to admit and ask for forgiveness for faults and wrong doings.

You're learning and putting to work your prayers. This momma couldn't be happier to be part of your life. 

I love you and prayerfully hope 12 is better than 11. 

Teach to Her Strengths

Those are the words I heard today. Maggie went in to see if she had the markers for NF, and apparently she does not. The geneticist was pretty good and he was friendly. 

He asked about her learning differences and he gave his advice. Also, we will need to look into an ASD evaluation. 

I'm thankful for all of the info.

I'm thankful for all the encouragement.

I'm thankful for good doctors.

Totally loving life

That's right!  I am in love with life right now. Getting my kids the therapies they need, and going out and doing stuff. My fat butt loves the couch, but loves going out more. 

This picture was Friday at a museums snow night. 

This was Thursday night at a special needs Christmas event. The kids had a blast!!

This picture was also Thursday. Maggie gathered card games for a local foster care agency.

We also went to a local mansions christmas night. We've done so much...including starting a new Girl Scout troop. So awesome. 2013 is ending on a good note. 2014 looks good.

Special Needs Update

You know, I've been reading a lot about the ups and downs if parenting special nerds kids. So I will share about my two boys and what new with them.

Hezzie and Joaquin are currently in occupational therapy. We are waiting for openings so they can go twice a week. Hezekiah starts speech therapy twice a week next week. Joaquin is waiting on his physical therapy approval. He will be doing that twice a week. His speech therapy evaluation is in the next few weeks.

Joaquin is either pulling hair out it it's falling out. He has a male first cousin with alooacia who's hair looked similar when it first onset. I'll be calling his pediatrician on Friday.

Hezzie got his MRI results back. There's a small cyst with fluid showing. Nuerology appointment is in the next few weeks. Also, his audiology appointment.

Maggie goes to  genetics next week. 

Maggie

So my sweet and feisty Maggie turned nine on Sunday. REALLY? I know, I know what did I think was going to happens when she turned eight? I get it, kids grow up.  For some reason, maybe my age....or whatever...I don't want to hear that. All I know is that I want to capture her in this moment, as see what it is that being nine is to her.

What does it mean to be nine? It means I am almost 10.
What do you want to be when you are older? I want to be a veterinarian.
What is your favorite animal? Wolves and horses.
What is your favorite memory of eight? When I got my first LPS daschound names Killer and when I went to World Thinking Day for Girl Scouts.


She is so creative and smart. She loves to draw, and sculpt things. How amazing is she?

My Daughter Loves Tobuscus

Here are two pictures Maggie made of Tobuscus. The bottom one is of him and her as cats. Yea, cats. Maggie said it would be her dream came true if he showed up for her birthday. I have no clue how to pull that off. Maybe I will buy her a shirt. 

Why does she "love" Tobuscus? Because, he is funny, sings good, plays Minecraft and has sideburns. What else can a lil girl ask for? Oh, yeah loves bacon. Some girls have Justin Beiber or One Direction....not this lil nerdy girl. 

For me, when  I was eight, it was all about David Bowie....

Full Lives

Life continues to be full for us. Of course, there are times when the fullness isn't what we planned. Last week Hezzie had a three day hospital stay. The swelling was really bad. It looks much better now. Maggie is still doing cookie sales and Waylon got his first beltloop for Cub Scouts. He said he didn't know what he got it for reading and writing since he can't do either. I had to laugh a little because, he leaves me notes and just yesterday was reading to us. He and Maggie both think reading is pulling open a giant novel and going to town. Okay, for people who have been reading longer, that is easily accomplished. They are both more confidant now.

Sunday was my first day since Jimmy and I were engaged that I went to Mass. Jimmy has been going a bit longer. More on that at another time.

I take Hezzie back to the neurosurgeon on Friday. I honestly am not looking forward to it. He now says that his swollen area hurts. That is new and I am not feeling the love there. I will be honest with the doctor but, I have a feeling that means more surgery. I have been saying all kinds of prayers and am just hoping this all ends soon. HE wants to go to Legoland (we have passes) and Disneyland. That won't happen until we get the okay. He could easily be back in the hospital form riding certain rides. But, it could always be worse. We still have him and he is talking more. Although, I am not excited he says "buttmunch" all the time.

That's really all I have for now.

Love,
Momma

Swimming Before Sunset

Last night Jimmy took the older boys to Boy Scouts. While he had them out, the littles and I enjoyed some backyard time. They went into the pool while I enjoyed fresh air that wasn't hot enough to burn my throat or fade my tattoos. They had fun hamming it up for the camera.

Waylon was water weary until our beach trip. This is great news for me. He is getting over fears a little at a time. This weekend may be his first overnight trip without a blood relative. Damn you Cub Scouts! He said he wants to do it, so we are going to look into it.

Hezzie was splashing around a little. Mostly he was screaming with joy at the silliness of Maggie and Waylon. These kids are so fun together. They call themselves "The Three Amigos". I call them fun!

Look at these two. They were taking turn being strong in the water holding one another. They crack me up.

Here is Hezzie some time later, Fluffy fell asleep with him. He looked so cute not to snap this picture. What can I say? It was a great night for all. Enjoying a little moments is what it's about.

Love,

Momma

Why My Daughter is Rad

Far too many times I have been told that my loverly (often times feisty) daughter should not be wearing pajamas in public. "Don't you know it's 110 out?" "Those are for private time." That last one, and ones comparable always get me. Really, at eight she has "private time"? She doesn't hold hands or kiss boys. These are pajama pants people....PANTS! Not a see through nightie. Not some camisole and thong.

At the park on her brothers birthday some little boy her age told her she needed "real clothes". He kept going on about it. But, she is so rad, she just ignored him. I caught her a couple times rolling her eyes at him.

Why else is my daughter rad? She is the only girl child in the house. She lives smack in the middle of four boys. She can hold her own. Her brothers know it. Some of things she does make her brothers stand in awe. For example when she rad flips on the trampoline, or swings high at the park and jumps off with no fear. Yeah, my daughter is rad.

She also has rad aspirations. Aspirations so she can buy us our own house. She wants to be the first woman American Ninja Warrior. She also admits have the title "ninja warrior" would be super awesome. We have been watching the show and she LOVES its L O V E S it! She says after she wins it, she wants to work with animals, either as a wrangler like Turtle Man or be a K-9 cop.

Despite her own things she has going on, like anxiety and some mood disorder of some sort, she is compassionate. She watches the show American Weed with me. She is confused as to why is still basically illegal federally if it can help so many people. Her older brother schooled her on it, she still wants to know why? Yeah, she is super rad!

Other things that maker her super rad!

• She carries a first aid kit, "what is someone steps on glass?"
• She once when by Shadow, you know from Sonic the Hedgehog.
• She will hand feed a new hen.
• She can calm a wild dog, and now Stan Lee is a big boo boo.
• She will hold bugs, and put ants in their natural habitat.
• She wants a pet bat, "they are good for the environment and their guano makes good fertilizer."
• She has her own style.

So basically my daughter is way more rad at eight than I am at 36.

Love,

Momma

There are times when everything seems just so perfect. When the screams die down and the anxiety of a little girl passes...this was one of those times. We had the couch bed pulled out for the littles, made all soft and comfy with thrift shop comforters and the felt sandwich kit came out. Hezekiah loves any kind of "toy" food. It's something he can "play" with that is like real life, not something he has to mimic from someone else.

Maggie and him played for quite some time making amazing sandwiches, laughing and smiling. The other boys were in the back room watching TV. I could her some laughter and occasionally the loudness of Waylons excited voice. It was a peaceful night with some music in the air and for once a clean livingroom before bedtime. A moment in time I was glad to share with my amazing kids.

I hope you get some calm after a storm....

Love,
Momma

'Emotional Crafting" or Painting

I have been "emotional crafting"....well, that is what I call my paintings. I use acrylic craft paints. Ever since I have been doing this, I feel a myriad of emotions and I feel it is seen in my work. Since I first started painting way back when I was 14 at Banning High School, I have enjoyed painting the female form. This is one of a few I have recently done. They are just representations and all the colors used are a representation of all the colors we as women are.

"Maggie Mindstorm"

I was sitting at the table a hour or so ago, the gesso had just dried on my canvas. Thursday I was lucky enough to find some vintage canvas' at a thrift shop and swooped them up. I pulled out some colors and was set on painting something different. During the first few paint strokes my Maggie began having a very emotional anxiety attack and wanted daddy. He was trying to help her breathe through it. She cried "Why can't I just stopped having anxiety?" She began to yell and cry. Sometimes when she has these attacks you can also get snippets of the ups and downs of her possible bipolar disorder. Ugly things fly from her mouth weaved in with worrisome cries. I painted as I felt her emotions.
For a seven year old little girl she deals with a lot emotionally, physically and mentally. She has these mindstorms some weeks, daily other weeks they are few and far between. Her meds do help but, without completely sedating her, there has been no way to keep them at a low level. I am hoping to get her some alternative therapies, she has always loved horses and I think that would be great therapy for her. She identifies with wolves and their howls, I am saving up for a membership to the California Wolf Center. Also, I am working on making her an artists box...looking for a perfect box to paint for her. She is so tangled up in herself.
Okay, I am stopping for now.

Love,
Momma

Cuddles, Chess and a Date

I woke up early this morning, showered, got dressed and went back to bed. While Jimmy went to AA, Waylon snuggled with me...Go Team Orange. It was quiet and very peaceful as we lied in bed listening to mediation music.

When Jimmy returned home he played chess with Dexter. The kids are in a chess club on Friday evenings. After their match Hezzie wanted a go. Dexter taught him how to place the pieces and the names. He periodically took out the board and pieces
to try and set the board up. I find this very adorable.

Jimmy and I had our first monthly date. Something he promised himself we would do. It was simple and lovely. We went to Subway and the to a nearby Starbucks. We chatted and played tic tac toe. We had hot drinks and read On The Road. It was pretty uneventful but, was a good time.

Subway and Starbucks make a great date!!

I am still fighting and ear infection. I have had garlic in my ears, so my eyes have been watery...so no makeup today. This is our mandatory date photo.

When we came home the kids were all napping. We went into the room where we sat upon our queen size bed. Jimmy played his guitar and sang to me. It was like we were still on our date til kids started coming in. They gave us hugs and kisses. Life is good.

Jimmy played his guitar over FaceTime on the iPhone with Maggie. She sat up my iPad so she could hear Jimmy sing about how much she loves Sonic and drawing wolves. She danced.

Sunday we good, it was peaceful and a wonderful way to start the week.

Love
Momma and her tribe

DOCTORS!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was filled with so many doctors appointments, or so it seemed. Maggie went to see her psychiatrist. That went well,s he was awake this time and even talked to him. This was a big step for her. She is adjusting well to her medications, I have to say we are blessed she didn't have to switch them so much.
She is so fun loving and energetic now. She is much more happy and full of life. So glad these steps were taken.

Jimmy and I had appointments. This is us waiting. So glad he came along....I am not fond of pap smears and have been known to get anxious. I know I am 35 and I still need my hand help, and possibly a lollypop
.

Can you see how scared I was? For good reason, that lady poked at my rectum without my permission. How dare she? Is this something new? It's only been five years since my last one.

We had a good laugh after it was all said and done. Now we have the daunting task of fasting bloodwork.
How was your Thursday?

Love
Momma and her tribe

Cleaning House and Spelling Games

I moved my couch and cleaned so much. I think this opens the living room up so much more so we can be fully engaged. I can not wait to find a picture for the wall so we can take that broken TV off of it. Woke up one morning to lines, no cracks just lines.
Apparently the cold day was reason for bath tub swimming, this is why Hezzie and Maggie are in their swim clothes. The played in a warm bath for a bit and then came out to dry off in the sun coming through the living room windows. I love when the kids do things like this. They tend to try and make the best of everything.

This guy right here, he has tried for a week to patch numerous holes in our air mattress. We have guests coming for about a week or so. They will be getting a new one for their use. We didn't want to have to do that.
Jimmy played his guitar for a bit as we all winded down for the evening. We had some good conversation and I got a few things off my chest. That was rather nice.

I snapped this photo of Maggie playing Words With Friends against me. She loves words...

Hope you have a great Tuesday.

Love,
Momma and her tribe

ROAR!! It was Thursday!

So, no so much a loud roar as much as the roar of sore throats of tiny voices and sniffling noses. The warm days and cold nights get us. We make do and I am considering making a big pot of soup today so we can relax and be warm tonight. The kids said the hot tea and honey sticks made them feel better.
Despite them being sick they were pretty animated once they were awake for awhile. Maggie and Waylon are two peas in a pod, except when they are not. They tend to be a lot a like when it comes to whose opinions matters the most. Then there are moments when they just get a long so well, I wonder if they had amnesia.

Dexter and Maggie can pull each other to bits in a moment and the next they are singing a tune. When Maggie was a baby Dexter doted on her quite a bit and even up until a year ago or so when he had a "girlfriend". Now, she irritates him and I had warmed him at some point his desire to make her a princess would backfire...I guess momma is right some times. Yesterday, was a good day for them. They were singing and while he played his guitar she even danced.

These are the besties. Don't mess with either one of them or you'll get attacked with flying objects. They both love Sonic and loves to throw oranges when people use bad language.

I took Dexter to dinner with Poppa and then I took Poppa to get new shoes. One thing he had neglected when he was drinking so much was keeping up a neat appearance. He would walked around in shoes that had no sides or backs. Finally, I made a point to just say, "The money is there and you need them." He caved and off to Payless we went.

I bought two more citrus trees and they will be planted soon. I can not wait to have fruit seasonally for the kids. Not, that they don't get any now. Taking life as it comes...works so good for me.


Love,
Momma and her tribe

Dirty Socks and Pills

Joaquin had to see his GI doctor on Monday. Normally he would be okay with seeing a doctor since he loves them. He loves the attention showered on him by the two he sees the most. If it's a sub he is tight lipped. Well, Monday he could not even look into Dr. Boltron's eyes. He was shy because Dr. Boltron has seen inside his body. That really creeped him out. I get that, I don't like looking the OB/GYN in the eyes.

The best part for me....dirty socks. I sent Joaquin in the room to get socks and he picks up dirty ones. I really just had to laugh. He swears they were clean when we left. Yet, he had shoes on...kids.

The poor kid was told no dairy and to try to go no gluten. His bad bacteria in his small intestines are out of control. Another round of antibiotics after which he needs probiotics and kefir. YAY!

Yesterday, I took Maggie to the psychiatrist. For now no real diagnosis has been made. She is on meds to help with anxiety and depression. The doctor got to see her moods in mild action but, enough to get an idea of what is going on.

This is what she looked like 30 minutes after her meds. From what I gather it could be like this for a couple of weeks. It took so much for me to get to the point of seeking help. She has a therapist and a pediatrician who are helping as well. It's bad enough she suffers from hypoglycemia and now this. I just know, it's unfair for her to suffer mentally.

Love and Life
Momma and her Tribe

Oh, What a Wednesday!

Took Maggie to breakfast with Jimmy. We had gotten together to take her to therapy. Her therapist ended up being out of state due to a family death. We took her to Gus, Jr for a fatty big breakfast. We are trying to co-parent well,

One thing our kids are fond of doing is going about town in their pajamas. As you can see in the picture above, even to a therapy appointment and breakfast. My Maggie is such a sweet girl. She loves her daddy and misses him. He calls her every night after he is done with his day.

I went to the Social Security office to get some things started for Joaquin and Hezzie. This my friends is an ad I saw. It really cracks me up. Got to say TOS never gets old.


Live Long and Prosper,
Momma and her Tribe