Dad Bear

Recently our large family has endured a bit of the flu. I say a bit because, I know families who are small in size and suffer for up to a month. It being a short season in our home doesn't make it any less painful. There was a lot of aching, sleeping, changing of bedding and toilet paper purchased. Obscene amounts of Gatorade was consumed as well as salty crackers. Lots of sleep, snoring and drooling and that was just for Jimmy. Kidding, sort of. The worse part for me was having Hezzie as for his Dad Bear. In his weak little voice he asked for him after vomiting for I think was the third time. He was wrapped up on the living room couch in what is probably a queen size comforter. His little chubby cheeked face was more pale than usual. "Gimme Da Bear."


He wrapped his arm around the soft cocoa colored necked and closed his eyes. I think Dad Bear will be his go to guy for times of discomfort. This makes total sense. Dad Bear was given to him by his Grammy. Grammy bought him so Hezzie could have some object of comfort while he was in the hospital.( This reminded me of when I was a kid, my Nana and Papa would buy any kid who was hospitalized an expensive lovely.) He did snuggle and love that bear that first stay.  Every hospital visit and doctor appointment since Dad Bear has gone along. He has been a source of comfort for Hezzie.


As much as I love Dad Bear, it aches my heart when I hear Hezzie as for him. At the same time, I am glad he has that comfort. The way he is, he doesn't much like being comforted by humans.
Love, Momma

Ugh! It Has To Get Better

My mom brought over Hezzies birthday gifts today. He wasn't thrilled with the Batman pajamas, yet he is wearing them all day. He got these cool cars called Flip Force. They are pretty awesome.
Jimmy has been grouchy and overwhelmed with everything. Although, I have tried to make it easy. I am trying to make it to where he only had to sweep and mop when he gets home, and maybe make dinner. It's not enough though. Well, that's how I feel. When he cycles it's right on me. I wish he'd have time for meetings or something. I am worried the stress will make him just not come home one day. If that happens, I'll deal. I won't be happy, but I will deal.
I do not expect people to feel sorry for me, or hate my husband. I'm
just frustrated. I am not supposed to do anything. I still do some things though. I hate not being able to have sex. This is when I think a Devi d wife would come in handy for Jimmy or a surrogate.
I am over these women on boards saying that if they can't get satisfied why should their man be able to? How about to stabilize their mood, maybe it's just me. A mothers helper would be great. Or a giant nanny dog that makes sure they don't make messes.
The kids ES for school is on my last nerve. She doesn't call, I'm constantly calling her to get answers. Frustrating and I may just withdrawal them, and let Dexter enroll next year.
On a good not, I'm not behind on laundry. The kids bring it to me, I sort it out and hang thing on hangers. They put it away. The house is cleans d my animals seem happy. Tomorrow I have a friend coming over to visit. My first real visitor. Just to visit. Yes, I'm starved for adult interaction.


I'll learn to be happy in my circumstance.

Love,
Momma