Baby Love

I'm so in love with my little one. The four years between births was well worth it. Although two years in I thought I'd never be snuggling a little one to my breast ever again.

It brings back all the memories of the older kids. When they were fresh little babies breathing softly against my chest. Their little heads against my chest as I look down at the tops of six very different heads. They all developed at different paces, and were mesmerized by different things. It's amazing that I could forget those things. That I could forget first steps, words and laughs. I guess the daily nonsense and eye rolling clouded my brain. It's a good thing I can remember, and go back to that baby love.

Love
Momma

5 Weeks

It's been a pretty good five weeks. Whole I don't feel sleep deprived, I do feel tired. Nothing unmanageable. Tanni is growing pretty good and makes us all smile. I had to put saline spray in her stuff nose this morning. She didn't like it at first but, now she's happy.

You know, when your kids are infants you have all kinds of plans for them. Greatness and happiness. Over the years I've learned that both greatness and happiness comes in different forms. It's displayed differently and it's appreciated on levels I would never have dreamed of.

I do wonder though, what will each kid offer the world around them. What will their happiness be, what will their greatness be? Only time will tell...


Love
Momma

Rub My Eyes

It feels like the things that have transpired recently are from someone elses life. Chaotic and beautiful all at the same time. Hezekiah was readmitted back into Loma Linda Childrens Hospital on Wednesday evening. His incision was leaking cerebral fluid.
The next morning I had my OB appointive and was in the early stages of labor. I was advised to go to the hospital as soon as I could. I was at a five and 85% effaced. I went and made some arrangements first. My mom met me at the childrens hospital so that Jimmy could come to the birth. When I arrived at Hezzies room he had just had some fluid removed via some syringes that nearly made me faint. Before my mom arrived we took Hezzie to see Santa in the lobby and do some fun things.
We arrived around 12:30-1 at Pass Hospital and my labor was going better. At 5:51 my water was broken. At 6:45 little baby Tanni was born. I don't think I even pushed. I was sitting up and the nurse was rubbing my lower back. I was in AA panic and swore I was cussing the nurses out. Jimmy says that wasn't true. I told the nurse the baby was coming laid back and breathed through about three big contractions....she was out and the nurse caught her one handed before my OB could get there. He was just down the hall, it was that fast.
Hezzie came home Friday, the baby and I came home Saturday. I have to say I'm not doing well with the amount of stitches I have. I'm not enjoying that discomfort. Just hoping it doesn't linger.
I found out Jimmys dear friend passed the day Tanni was born. It's like his padding made room for Tanni on earth and now he's with his own children. RIP Chris.
We have a post op for Hezzie tomorrow. I hope it's better news. I just want to rub my eyes and wake up...and have it be rainbows and unicorns everyday. Well, maybe not, because I probably would take wonderful things for granted.

Love
Momma