Baby Love

I'm so in love with my little one. The four years between births was well worth it. Although two years in I thought I'd never be snuggling a little one to my breast ever again.

It brings back all the memories of the older kids. When they were fresh little babies breathing softly against my chest. Their little heads against my chest as I look down at the tops of six very different heads. They all developed at different paces, and were mesmerized by different things. It's amazing that I could forget those things. That I could forget first steps, words and laughs. I guess the daily nonsense and eye rolling clouded my brain. It's a good thing I can remember, and go back to that baby love.

Love
Momma

5 Weeks

It's been a pretty good five weeks. Whole I don't feel sleep deprived, I do feel tired. Nothing unmanageable. Tanni is growing pretty good and makes us all smile. I had to put saline spray in her stuff nose this morning. She didn't like it at first but, now she's happy.

You know, when your kids are infants you have all kinds of plans for them. Greatness and happiness. Over the years I've learned that both greatness and happiness comes in different forms. It's displayed differently and it's appreciated on levels I would never have dreamed of.

I do wonder though, what will each kid offer the world around them. What will their happiness be, what will their greatness be? Only time will tell...


Love
Momma

Fussy Pants

Tanni has been a total fussy pants today. I don't think she was in a good mood or she just wanted to snuggle. Probably just wanted to snuggle. Who wouldn't want to snuggle with me in bed all day? Okay, maybe just her.

I had a couple cups of hot tea this morning. Did a morning meditation and thought how I could be a better person today. I prayed for myself and those around me. By nature I am kind of aggressive and pessimistic. Well, kind if is sugar coating it. I see those traits in some if my kids and I want to model different behaviors. I don't want my kids to want to abandon me when they come of age. In my heart I'd like to think I'd get phone calls and letters. Not just on holidays. Visits and pictures if grandkids. I can only hope.
Until the future shows itself, I've got to work on myself and my kids.

Love
Momma

2013

Wow! Is it really 2013?! Apparently so. I can ask all the cliche questions like "Where did the time go?" But, we know where it went. It went behind us and we are getting older. It's not a bad thing unless, well unless you're stuck living in the past. You know, pretending you're still 22 when you're actually 36. Or still upset at things that have happened to you, when you had no control over it. Move on, forgive and learn to love.
I always make these ridiculous resolutions. My follow through is never good. So no resolutions, just making promises as I see fit. I hate to break a promise, I refuse to. My first promise it to tell all my kids everyday that I love them, and show them. How can I possible break that promise? I can't or I'd hate myself, and I'm not into self hate.
This year I turn 37, the kids turn 21, 13, 12, 9, 7, 5 and one. Wait! Stephanie will be 21?! She was five when she came into my life. Insane! Jimmy will be 38 and we will celebrate 14 years of marriage. Do I feel old? Only when my arthritis thinks it owns me. It doesn't.
Looking forward to a great year! Hope you have a great year!

Love
Momma