Forgiveness and Why we should say Goodbye

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Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

Can you imagine being in Dong Yun Yoon? You leave one morning giving you family kisses and saying goodbye and then tragedy strikes. BAM! You whole family is gone and you are left alone. You could get angry and blame everyone or you could be forgiving knowing that your family is with their Creator. Dong Yun Yoon can rejoice knowing that they are in heaven away from the pains and trials of this world. I wonder though, if I would feel this way if it were me. I would really have to turn to the Lord and have him be my stronghold.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
Psalm 34:18

He is blessed to have the support of his pastor and his church. I am sure he also finds solace that when he left that morning he said his goodbye and gave his family kisses. Often time when we leave we leave in a hurry we don't take time to say goodbye to everyone. We are in a hurry to go out the door and get our day started and over with. I plead with all parents, spouses to make sure we say goodbye when we leave because you never know when it will be for the last time. I am sure you have known someone who has lost a loved one and wished they had had the chance to say goodbye.


**ORGINALLY POSTED ON THE BLOG "A DESERT FLOWER AND HER TRIBE"

Special Time

Hezzie at Costco

I like to spend special time with my kids. It can be hard sometimes with six kids at home, but it has to be done. This was last week after Hezzie's second day at PAL Camp. He had to be picked up early and we took him out of camp. We took him to get a big slice of pizza at Costco as he requested.
He saved half of the slice for Joaquin. Joaquin was happy. Us mothers and fathers of big families need to make time for each of our kids to feel special. It can be a cheap date at Costco or it can be a special dinner in the evening. Let the kids talk about things we may otherwise not want to hear about.These types of things are opportunities for bonding, and building trust. Yes, we need to build our kids trust.
When my oldest was much younger we used to take a lot of walks. He was a chatterbox, so I would let him talk the whole time. I got to learn what he liked and how he learned. I got to learn so much, and he developed a great expressive language and vocabulary. Of course, as a teenager he doesn't talk with me like that everyday, but he does talk to me about the important things.

Ideas For Special Time

Museum visits. Some museums offer free days. A bonus to these types of visits is they are always a good temperature.

Help with meal planning and shopping. I know this can be annoying when sticking to a budget, but kids will learn so much.

Lunch at the park. Go to a new park and have some fun.

Walks! One of my favorite things. You can get to know your neighborhood and chat while doing it.

Library events. These are almost always free and help foster a sense of community.

Costco pizza. Low cost and you get to feel your belly and your soul while talking and eating.

Adoration Chapel. Go pray or meditate in the presence of the Holy Eucharist. Afterwards you can talk about religious traditions and why you choose to pass them along.

Photo shoot. Take to a local historic location and take some photos with each other.


There are so many things you can do. Get creative and have fun.

Love,
Momma

4 of My Favorite Office Supplies

I have some office things I have picked up thrift shopping over the years and some I get usually on Amazon or at Staples.  Here is a list of my 4 favorite things. Some of the photos are clickable and will take you to Amazon. I am an Amazon Affiliate.

In no particular order:

1. Boston 2612  Paper Cutter.  I got this at the Goodwill Outlet for $2. They go on ebay for around $40 plus shipping.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   2. Scotch Thermal Laminator. You have no idea how happy I was when I got this a couple years ago. It still works good and it's so easy my kids can use it. It's nice because you can print worksheets you may use over and over again, and just print it once, laminate it and use a dry erase marker. Saves paper and money.
   
   
   
   
   
   3. Metal Baskets. I have three different sizes and rotate what I put in them. Here is one with some flash cards.
   
   

       4. Ibico Kombo Plastic Comb Binding Machine. This was a steal. I paid $30 at a thrift shop a few         years ago. They can go for about $250.

State Studies: Delaware pt. 1

 

Delaware Studies

The kids want to learn more about the United States of America. Awhile back we watched, How the States Got Their Shapes and it stuck with them. We will rewatch the first season and start the second season. 
I remember in fifth grade we picked a state to do a report on and we wrote a letter to the governor and requested info. I am going to suggest that to the kids and see what they think. It could be fun to collect information on states and have letters from governors. We have state collage boards that the kids will work on together. For Deleware I printed out a packet I found for FREE online as a base for what we learn on this topic.
A bit of a funny, because of Wayne's World one of my kids thought Delaware is a mythological state. No more of that nonsense.

 Crafts

 Hezekiah and some of the other younger kids made these catfish out of some great construction paper, glue, and sharpies. We are using school funds to help cover the costs of curriculum and supplies. Thank you Inspire Charter Schools!
We just got approval to keep on Hezzie's summer speech therapist. I am excited and think he can build a good rapport with her. She is amazing and very helpful. The change in service provider has been hard for him, but it always is. That just how Autsim works. I am hoping that occupational therapy services are worked out soon. He really needs that again.

More Resources For Delaware

 Lenape Worksheets

Native Americans in Delaware

Delaware Fun Page

Middle Colonies Worksheet

Delaware State Flower Coloring Page

Delaware State Bird

Delaware State Website 
History of Delaware

That is all for now.
Love,
Momma


P.S. Here is the link to the podcast episode of Catholic Stuff You Should Know with a shoutout to one of the kids for a birthday.

Hezzie : Goals and Such

Hezekiah loves numbers and math in general. He met most of his math goals on his IEP this year. That makes me one happy momma. We ordered Life of Fred Elementary set and we started today. He really loves learning and since this has reading, art, and other language arts involved...he is over the moon. Instead of paper we are using a dry erase easel we got awhile back from the Goodwill and the markers from Amazon.
Hezekiah is currently enrolled in a charter school and receives SAI classes during the summer. We started using index cards for him to keep track of the words he can read. When the index card box comes we will put them in alphabetical order and store them. He said he is excited to see how many words he can read by the end of this year (after Christmas). I think for his first 100 words I am going to make it special for him.
He has a temporary speech therapist who is pretty amazing and I hope maybe she can stay on through the next school year. She will be at his phonics day camp next week and work with him afterwords. She said that he doesn't have appraxia but a phonological processing disorder. So let's hope that being treated for that will be more helpful for getting his speech where it needs to be. Well, where he would like it. His vocabulary is pretty great.

Life of Fred on the dry erase board.

Imperfect Photos

Here's an perfectly imperfect photo of myself. This morning after daily mass my three year old had my phone and took this photo. For a split second I considered deleting it. It's not in focus and I'm moving towards her. But, this is how she sees me. From her perspective, this part of me in beautiful. How do I know? She likes to pet me face, run her fingers through my hair and tells me so. 

She's a radiant, feisty, and very honest three year old. She's beautiful herself.  This is my perfectly imperfect photo, that I will share with the world, because my three year old reminds me I am beautiful. 

Daybook June 27, 2016

Outside my window…

 I can already feel the heat. I was outside cleaning up and felt the heat. We need to find a permanent place for this lovely metal arch bench the neighbor gave us. Praying thr drought will be over soon, my grass is looking sad.

I am thinking…

 Of how much mass I have missed since the kids were in summer school. Tomorrow I will be back at it.

 

I am thankful…

For having a home to call my own.even when things go wrong in the house and it frustrates me.

I am wearing…

Pajamas and the most comfortable Teva sandals ever!

I am creating…

I clean space to live and love in. Things have been cray here and am I trying to get things back to good.

I am going…

on little walks everyday. Some of us are part of the 100 Mile Club and are doing there 262 Summer Challenge.

I am wondering…

where all the tape went. it vanishes faster than grapes.

I am reading…

I am hoping…

to start blogging more and getting to mass more

I am learning…

put down my foot and not let things simply be

In my kitchen…

grapes and eggs...breakfast

In the homeschool room…

We learn everywhere. Although this coming year we have three kids attending traditional school, I will still have half at home.

A favorite quote for today…

"I place trust in God, my creator, in all things; I love Him with all my heart." St. Joan of Arc

A peek into one of my days…

One of my favorite things…

Post Script…

I'm glad to be back at blogging more....

 

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Linked with the Simple Woman’s Blog.

Waylon Turns 10

I'm not sure where the time went. You know, when you grew up and became so funny. When you got so smart and your vocabulary became so big, I think it was between Carson Street and Main Steer that your intellect blossomed. I think you might agree. 

I miss seeing you in your NASA coveralls. Perhaps I should order you the set you never had. I see big things in your future.i hope I can help you see just how special and talented you are. I love that you read so much and that you like to talk about interesting things. You're above your years, Waylon. That's not a bad thing, never dumb yourself down to make others feel better. I love you and your dinosaur obsession. 

Maggie Rae You're 12

My goodness! When did you get so old? Okay, I know you're still young. But, 12 seems too old for this momma. You've come a long way this past year, even with some serious setbacks. You're conquering fears, fighting your depression and anxiety. You're learning more about yourself, even finding out that you fit the ticket for aspergers/autism. You're challenging yourself everyday, and on the days you can't you're still overcoming so much.

We butt heads more this past year than even before. That's just how life has been, but we always come back and mend. Like me, you've learned to admit and ask for forgiveness for faults and wrong doings.

You're learning and putting to work your prayers. This momma couldn't be happier to be part of your life. 

I love you and prayerfully hope 12 is better than 11. 

17 Ways Jimmy Shows Love

As we come up to celebrating 17 years of civil marriage, and finally getting our Sacrement of Marriage I find it fitting to share.

1. He prays with me every morning before work. Even a simple Hail Mary can change our day.

2. He works hard for our family. 

3. He tries to spend one on one with the kids. Which can be hard with so many, but he tries.

4. He knows when to take care of his mental health. You really need to know just how important that is.

5. He's never shyed away from changing a diaper.

6. He will take silly photos with us.

7. He doesn't shy away from cooking delicious food.

8. He is self sacrificing for out family and others. You have to know he loves ice cream and tacos, but will forgo for you.

9. He knows when he needs to say No. It's not always easy, but he can do this.

10. He finds time to be of service to others. Over the years it been through volunteering with church, Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts and now CWA.

11. He doesn't forget about the past. He doesn't dwell, but he remembers where he's come from and where we've come from. Although, years of drinking makes some things hazy he still remembers.

12. He never loses hope for his kids, even when some of them seem to be in a dark spot.

13. He is patient with our shenanigans. Pets, hobbies, art, decorating...

14. He's taking care of his health. That's pretty new, but he's doing it for himself and his family.

15. He encourages us all to learn in a way that's fitting for us. 

16. He has his own hobbies, showing the kids that it's okay to keep up with what you enjoy.

17. He got sober for himself. 

He is in My Heart

Today I gave a presentation on Hezzie. It was for the children in his program to better understand him and how his brain works. I had asked that parents be present, and well none stayed. The one kids nanny was there, she is always there. I think it went pretty well, but one kid was being a bit rude.
It was hard to put the presentation together. Not technically hard, but emotionally. As  parent/caregiver I know all these things about my child, but when it's ALL there in front of you it hits you in a certain way. A way that just makes your heart kind of leap out of your chest and sink all at the same time.

I could see at some point it was becoming hard for my two children who were in class. They didn't look embarrassed or uncomfortable, just sad. They've said some of the kids have made fun of Hezzie when he is not around. It is upsetting for them. They know Hezzie is not what someone would consider an ideal student, but they have always known what he as been through. But, it's not just the kids making this transition hard. I will leave it at that.

Lately Hezzie has been extra cuddly. Oh, it warms my heart. He comes up and covers us both up with his Star Wars comforter on the couch. We will sit there and read, or just watch TV. That is another thing, he is now wanting me to read to him more. I love reading to him. Now he is trying more to read. He has already earned two awards at the county library and we are working on some other reading challenges, most of the kids are. They are actually pretty fun to do.

I am exited for the day he is reading completely on his own.

Love, Momma

You Smell

Today I had an initial IEP meeting for Hezekiah. I knew that him being enrolled in a charter school was going to change things, I just not know it was going to be so hard. That hard part has been him transitioning. He is overstimulated and overwhelmed. The program director of the enrichment site is having a hard time with him, and frankly does not seem to be understanding. He is not attending one of the days he is supposed to be because of that. He really isn't even aware he is not wanted there.

The other kids seem to be doing okay. Joaquin is often frustrated with feeling like the site director is answering questions for him. Oh, the life of someone with Autism. I hope that gets worked out soon.

The stress and anxiety of all this is very frustrating. I have thought about throwing in the towel and going back to a private school affidavit. You know hour to two hour commutes to therapy sessions. Running out of food because traffic is bad, and loads of gas money. But, then there is comfort of low stress and virtually no anxiety. It would just be another sudden change in our life.

Right now I just want some blankets, my tv and nachos. I guess I can settle for something else to eat. Time to quiet the mind and the worry.

Love
Momma

Coming Around

My middle four kids, they started an enrichment program through a charter school last month. For three of them it's been a good experience, for Hezekiah it's been a bit of a roller coaster. I have to sit in class with him due to his behavior. It's rough seeing your child struggle. Academically he's doing well, socially and behaviorally he's been challenging.i won't go into specifics, but he's being asked not to attend one day of the program.

Between the struggles I class, constant IEP and special education phone calls....I started to lose myself. I wasn't even brushing my hair often enough. It wasn't depression, but a constant sense of anxiety. Every time I've taken him to class  I've battled anxiety to the point I feel like  my body is revolting against me. 

Friday it came to a head, when I was told he was going to be asked not to attend Monday's. I had to walk out of the class and I broke down sitting inside of my van. I'm thankful I had my anxiety medication on me, and when I was calm I called my husband.

I am feeling much better. I've remembered to use my tool bag and practice self care. 

To all you mommas and poppas, take care of yourself. You're important, too.

Love, 

Momma 

10 Things:

10 Random Things

1. I like to watch John Goodman movies.

2. I like to watch PBS

3. Some days I wish I could walk out to the beach and surf. But, I live inland.

4. My kids annoy me and bring me joy, often at the same time.

5. I hate having a period. I'd rather stub my toe.

6. I'm secretly planning Maggie's quince.

7. I Ike old music from a record.

8. I have weird small pinkies.

9. Sunlight is awesome medicine 

10. I either have no interest in something or I dive in feet first! 

Joaquin and Baseball

Joaquin jad his first baseball game yesterday. He tried his hardest and hr played right feild. It didn't see much action. But, when it did I think he got nervous. The center feild ran to the ball and harness it to Joaquin to throw. It was sweet. 

Joaquin is certain situations is noticed my different socially and emotionally. I think a couple of the kids have picked up on it. I talked to the coaches wife about his needs. 

He likes playing on a mainstream team and I do see him improving over this season. It really is amazing his he powers through and doesn't complain, he powers through it all. Love this kid.

Big Kids Baseball

The big kids had opening day today. They are all playing baseball, even my Maggie Rae.

It was a nice ceremony, it even included a wedding engagement.

Joaquin is playing for the Rockies. My gosh this kid is growing up! Where does the time go?

The coaches son is very nice to him. Everyone encourages him.

Maggie is playing for the A's. She is the only girl on her team, and is making friends fast. She is the only girl on her team, and has been well received.

My biggest kid, Dexter is playing for the Cubs. He's putting all his heart into it. It's the last year he can play spring ball in this league and his first. 

Two more kids waiting for opening day. That comes in May, Waylon will be in coach pitch and Hezzie in t-ball. 

I feel a lot of change coming on.

Wordless Wednesday: The Gathering Room

Life of Play

From early morning this little on loves to play. I watch her, often from a distance. Her little hand explores textures and shapes. As the sun breaks through the spring fog she likes to press her little nose against a cold spring window. She looks out at cars passing by while she holds a plastic dinosaur in her hand. She growls and chases one of the foster kittens, the puppy follows her closely. 

She sits on one of the outward facing bookcases and stares intently at brightly adorned pages full of fire trucks and animals. She points and laughs.

She crawls upon my lap and nurses upon my breasts. Her blue eyes gaze into my brown ones. Her tiny hands wrap around my finger. She sleeps, I sleep.

The sun has set and by this time numerous colorful cloth diapers have been changed. She is on the rug playing with Legos. She's happy and talking to the blocks. 

She's happy in her life of play.

Cleaning Up

Working on my house for Lent. I've got to get the laziness out of me.

My dad is bringing us some new chairs for the gathering room. That means pulling out old and delapitated couches. That means rearranging and decorating changed to the gathering room.

It also means being somewhat jealous of the clean streamlined spaces I see on Apartment Therapy and the beautiful, colorful paint jobs on Offbeat Home. 

My gathering room is a modge podge of craigslist curbs alerts, thrift shop finds and remenants from people who have passed. While I'm no way embarrassed of my home, sometimes I'm jealous of the internet homes, sometimes I wish I had the money for several ikea items instead of paying for baseball for six kids. 

Somerimes I wish I had a nice console stereo and tons of vinyl and not tons of toys. 

This is the life I chose. Fingerprints, tubs of toys and furniture that doesn't match. 

Lent

Lent began on Wednesday. The kids and I went to Mass. They were pretty excited and except for Dexter, this was everyone else's first Ash Wednesday experience. They liked it and are enjoying Lent.

Waylon gave up Minecraft. That's pretty awesome.